Sid Crowe's

Sid was an extremely smart and ambitious spider. He was a hard worker and can be a fun friend whenever he isn’t building his webs. The problem with Sid is that his strengths are also a weakness. They’re a double edge sward that can be used to butter his bread or take of his head.

Sid always spends his whole night building the biggest spider web that anyone has ever seen. He’s afraid of heights so he builds them close to the ground in places like doorways and across sidewalks. This is where the problem starts – stupid humans keep walking through his magnificent webs.

One day, Sid spoke to his friend Tony who is a swirl spider. Swirl spiders are small and they always build the smallest webs inside of holes. Tony is a fat little spider. He always eats plenty of bugs. Doug couldn’t figure out why Tony caught so much food with such a small web so he asked him “Tony, how do you get so much food with such a small web? I’m always building the biggest of webs and catch nothing.”

To which Tony replied “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Sid. My Papa taught me this trick but before I tell you it – promise me you’ll keep it a secret.”

Sid nodded his head.

“Ok, the only reason I’m sharing this with you” said Tony “is because you look so thin and hungry. I cant let myself see you wither away. So, are you ready?”

“I sure am, Tony.”

“Ok, here it is: it’s a magic spell. Recite this ‘Stupid bugs, stupid bugs fall for my trap. Stupid bugs, Stupid bugs from all over the map.’ Say that one 10 times a day for a week and make sure you say it between 10am and 12pm or else it won’t work. If you do this, you’ll have more than enough bugs to eat. Trust me.”

When Tony said this, Sid realized three things. One, Tony is crazy. Two, He’s also not the smartest spider out there. Three, The only reason he is so successful is because he has such a small hidden web in a little hole that bugs want to crawl into. Sid is too big to do this trick but he needs to find a better place to put his webs and they don’t need to be so big.

Instead of disagreeing with Tony, Sid thought it would be better to play dumb instead of wasting time arguing. Sid remembered another Spider named Spark Twain* who once said “Don’t argue with stupid people, they’ll being you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

So Sid promised Tony to try his spell.

Three weeks later, Sid came back to Tony after building a web in a high corner of a human’s kitchen. This kitchen had three sloppy college students living in it who didn’t do their dishes. Sid made a deal with these humans to pay rent. His rent was to eat all of the bugs and flies. They became great roommates. Sid eats roughly 10 flies a day which are rich in potassium.

Sid went back to tony and said “your spell worked.” Even though he never tried it. After that day, Tony wrote a book on feeding yourself with magic spells and he did a lecture every week at the local spider university. Later on in his life, Tony started his own religion called Tony Bologna Maloney.  He lived to the age 100 (or so he said) and had over a million disciples.

 *Spark Twain is the real spider version of Mark Twain. I hear they were roommates which is why they sound similar. 

A year and a half ago I made the best decision of my life and also the scariest one. I decided not to go back to college. I realized my first year there was a waste of time and was honest enough with myself to say “I don’t need this.” There are three reasons why I didn’t go back.

The first reason is that it was holding me back from thinking for myself. The teaching style in college right now is “you don’t know anything, so, instead of thinking and figuring out solutions, you should go see what other people say.” This is the worst possible way of thinking. For example, in college I was given poor marks for coming up with a solution to a marketing problem that wasn’t in our textbook. But that’s a whole different article. (Coming Soon).

The second reason I didn’t go back to college was because it was expensive. Not only was I paying tuition but I had to use borrowed funds to pay for my food and rent. College is a business. Just like porn and Facebook. The main purpose of college is not to educate, it is to make money. The main purpose of porn is not to please people but to make money. The main purpose of Facebook is not to connect people and enrich their lives by doing so – it is to make money. So, what’s the best way to make money as a college? Make it mandatory that each student takes X amount of courses they don’t need and fool them into thinking they need 4 years to learn something they could learn in 8 months. It’s a scam and a poor investment. Graduating with student debt puts us under pressure to take jobs we don’t want.

The third reason I didn’t go back to college was because I wasn’t being pressured by family and friends. I’m a lucky one. My mother didn’t disown me because I dropped out. She embraced it. She said “you’re a smart kid. You’ll figure something out.” I’m lucky. Most people aren’t. Most college kids’ parents are pressuring them to study because they think it will pay off. They have the best intentions for their children but they’re simply misinformed. As an aspiring college dropout – don’t get upset if your parents give you resistance. It’s coming from a sincere place. If you’re a parent with an aspiring college goer – encourage them to think critically about pursuing college.

For me, leaving college has been the best decision I’ve ever made – following my passions and failing and succeeding. I’m an advocate to drop out. If you agree, tell one person today how college is a scam.

If you’re thinking about leaving college to take the path less traveled, and are scared, I’m here to say this: Yes. It’s gonna be scary. It’s gonna suck at some points. You’re going to fail and get discouraged. But, if you can keep your eye set on what kind of life you want – if you can keep learning and stay curious – it’s going to pay off. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.